


Secret Agent Man

by BaabiSheep



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Kaneki puts up with a lot, Multi, don't take this seriously, overprotective boyfriends, terrible disguises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:03:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2126187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaabiSheep/pseuds/BaabiSheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No ghoul could possibly escape the combined might of the three best investigators in the CCG. Well, one of the best investigators in the CCG and his two trainees.</p>
<p>Or where Hide comes up with plans that could not possible work but Amon is strong enough to back him up and Kaneki just gets pulled along for the ride.</p>
<p>Inspired by the OTP prompt - Imagine one of the members of your OTP/3 convincing the other (two), to wear those goofy novelty glasses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Agent Man

**Author's Note:**

> It is my general policy to write whatever makes me happy, and this idea had me cackling on my floor. I found the prompt for this while searching for prompt I can write Amon/Kaneki for because I think that if I keep writing crappy fanfics of them someone else is finally going to decide to try their hand at it. I couldn't think of a way to do this without Hide and a relationship with all three of them sounded great, even though this is really not all that romantic.

When Kaneki joined the CCG he hadn't expected to be any good as an investigator, it was a surprise that he was in the top five graduates for his year. When he was paired with his best friend and worked under arguably the most attractive person in the CCG was a rather large surprise, ending up in a relationship with both of them was probably the biggest surprise of his life. The plan Hide had come up with for how they could spy on the suspect they were tailing without him noticing was not surprising at all.

"It's fool proof. I've never seen this disguise not work." Hide said holding the only item the "disguise" needed.

"In cartoons, no one would ever use that in real life as a disguise." Amon said, his slight irritation clear.

Hide huffed, and stood taller. "It's so crazy it'll work." The blonde argued.

The older investigator straighted to his full height. "It's so stupid it'll get one of us killed."

"No it won't! You just don't want to use my idea!"

"We used your idea last time!"

"And it worked out great!"

Kaneki coughed into his hand and both his boyfriends turn to look at him. "If Amon or I wore those glasses what would you do?"

"Glad you asked!" The excited blonde pulled out a newspaper and opened it. Two very obvious holes were cut out of it at eye level. "I'll be using this!"

Amon hit his forehead with his palm. "Why can't you take this job seriously?"

"Why aren't you taking my idea seriously?" Hide retorted.

The taller male sighed, "I just don't see it working."

"You've gotta trust me! Even if our suspect thinks were watching him, he'll just think we're weird. What kind of investigator goes to cartoon spying tactics? Of course he won't notice us because my plan is fool proof." Hide explained and Kaneki got a sick feeling when Amon seemed to consider the options.

\------------

So the trio ended up sitting in the lobby of an upscale boutique watching their target gallivant through the store trying on suits and ties. Kaneki scratched at his upper lip. The mustache itched terribly, he hoped they'd leave soon. The black haired male looked over at his two companions in slight jealousy. They got to hold newspapers in front of them rather than wear ridiculous novelty glasses.

At least Hide's plan seemed to be working. The violet haired male they were tailing was shopping without a clue that he was being watched. He hadn't done anything suspicious but Kaneki was getting a bad feeling about him. Maybe it was just his fashion sense, the red completely clashed with his hair.

Kaneki's eyes drifted from the suspect to look over at his boyfriends. They were both sitting on a couch while Kaneki was in one of the plush chairs opposite of the couch, the kind of chair that the arms alone were big enough to easily seat an adult. The black haired investigator had to admit it was comfy.

His eyes widened as he felt warmth breath on his ear and someone touching his hair. The black haired male looked over to see their target sitting on the arm of his seat pulling back to dramatically brush his hair back. "You smell Tres Bien."

The investigator in dorky glasses did not know how to respond to that or to act in any manner. All he knew was that the man sitting next to him was incredibly weird and he'd rather not deal with that today.

"My name is Tsukiyama Shu, what is yours." The violet haired male purred.

"Kaneki Ken." Kaneki said trying to subtly get as far away from Tsukiyama as possible.

"Well, Kaneki, I couldn't help but notice your amazing mustache. It goes so well with your glass." Tsukiyama said one finger tracing the edge of Kaneki's disguise glasses.

"Ah, thank you?" Kaneki looked over to Amon and Hide for help.

Both males on the couch seemed to assessing the danger Kaneki was in, and when it would be alright to go over and beat the living crap out of Tsukiyama. "But I think they'd look even better if you didn't have any clothes on." Tsukiyama said leaning close but still loud enough they all heard it.

"Ghoul spotted." Hide said as he stood up in time with Amon.

"You know protocol." Amon said pushing the button on his briefcase.

"Don't cause unneeded harm to ghouls?" The blonde asked.

"No, the duty to protect humans and I'm pretty sure that ghoul is threatening him."

Hide nodded and they both advanced on Tsukiyama. Like a flash Tsukiyama was high tailing it out of there, two angry investigators on his tail. Kaneki sighed before cleaning up the fallen newspapers and throwing them in the trash with the glasses with an oath to never grow a mustache.

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this whole au idea. Besides the fact that it would involve Kaneki trying to kill all of his ghoul friends. So I will avoid thinking to deeply about it and just awe over how cute it is. And I just thought of an alternate version of this. Not going to elaborate just going to smile at my computer screen. Mostly because it has absolutely nothing to do with what this whole fanfic was about.


End file.
